calory

About bringing new life into this world. 

I'm not exclusively happy. I'm also terrified. 

I'm terrified because of how broken this world is. Of how we'll teach our child to navigate through the broken pieces of humanity. Of all the pain she'll inevitably go through. Of every moment she will be shattered, and question why she was brought here. As I did so many times. 

The decision is taken through. There's no going back now. I kept the child bearing thoughts at bay for as long as I could, until my biological clock got the best of me. I just really want this child. And I'm making the ultimately selfish decision to have her. 

I will do my absolute best to build you into a healthy mind, and prepare you for the endless amount of shit this world will throw at you. I will teach you how to find happiness and magic in the smallest of everyday things. I will try to make life hurt a little bit less than it did for me. If I can, I would love you to just be happy.