calory

Literally started the new year with flying to Sicily! Went visiting an old friend of ours, who showed us how winter was in a very similar little Mediterranean island. We stayed in her tiny flat in central Ortigia, and the whole trip was just about simple pleasures; we ate so much Sicilian food, we drank so much local wine and we drove around watching beautiful places while talking with no end. 

The rest of January, we discovered that we could sneak into a nearby spa - and obviously spent some time there. Combined with pizza and wine afterwards, we really cozed our way through the first month of the year ❤️

Our cozy spa adventures continued meanwhile we worked our normal days at the restaurant. And then we took another, longer holiday. This time up north, for visiting family. 

We started the journey by flying to London, where we said hello to my 2 sisters. The London visit was basically just us scavenging for cheap buffets, checking markets and hanging in urban cafés with my younger sisters. London sure is cozy wintertime, and I wished we had a bit more time, but we only spent 2 days as our schedule was a bit crammed. 

We then flew to Copenhagen, where we spent half a day getting absolutely shitfaced. Sampling the local spirit Brännvin & discovering that they sell 1 liter beer pints in the winter wonderland park next door made for a magically fun daytime activity. We later on decided to sober up with what we thought was a normal, weak Irish coffee - but it turns out that it's 6cl of whiskey in that one too. How we didn't loose all of our belongings is a mystery, but I'm happy. We somehow managed to catch the evening train to South of Sweden, although it's all just fog by that point (hahahaha). 

The train led us straight into the arms of Simon's longing mother - who knew what we were craving after living abroad for so long. A proper Swedish breakfast table! We eat that any time of the day anyway. It might've been some Christmas classic food that Simon was missing too. We don't really remember now do we. 

The next week, we just stayed with his family, doing nothing but eating long long all day breakfasts and visiting old places where he grew up. It was really just about warming family times. Simon comes from a very loving family, so different from how I was brought up. Although it felt unusual, I was happy to be invited into the warmth of his home. Maybe I can learn how to give this too. After a week, it was time to go north to my hometown. 

The main purpose of this visit was mainly to meet my old old father for the last time. I somehow had a hunch that his time was starting to near its end, and I turned out to be right 2 months later. I am very happy for being able to indirectly say good-bye. I'm just very sad for my sister that didn't .

We met up with my oldest, dearest childhood friend Harald, and ventured into the woods where I'd grown up. Unlike Simon, I don't really meet nostalgia in the same way. My past is filled with broken bones and shattered glass. Being back feels awkward, even though I've risen from those ashes. There is something miserable lingering in the air of this small town. Or maybe it's just all in my head. 

After some time spent with my foster family, and at my brother's new house, it was time to get back. And ended a bittersweet February month with buffet, and a new tattoo. 

March came, and life went on as usual with our 2 jobs. That is, until the lockdown was announced. 

Even though we didn't have much savings at that point, we immediately took this as a somehow good thing - we were probably overworked and in need of a good rest that wouldn't have happened if lockdown didn't. We realised that this was out of our hands, and made the best of the situation. We rested, reflected and started jogging a bit. I finally had time to start giving yoga a serious chance, something that would continue to shape me throughout the whole year. 

We realised how little we could actually get by on. We spent €197 that entire month, and we still ate good, healthy food. I really am a kitchen magician ;) 

One of our biggest entertainment was feeding stray cats in the crisp spring weather. March was beautiful, and so was the following months to come.

Lockdown was still under effect, and we stayed isolated only us two. We ventured out on jogging trips and seaside picnics in the sun, and Malta started to green up in preparation for the summer to come. I started to get to know my own body better, and slowly found my own pace with yoga. I started painting again. Big plans slowly made their introduction to our lifes. Spring really was in the air ❤️ 

After having a lot of time to think, we finally took a decision we've been pondering about for months. And we welcomed two beautiful rescue cats to our home! 

Being rescues, they weren't all flowers and cute things, and we did struggle a bit with smells and sofa clawing . We wrapped up the couch with cling film and practiced patience. It took them 3 weeks to start coming to us, and after that, everything else was just forgotten. We named them Salem & Lucifer.

The Maltese June is the official start of the summer, and lockdown restrictions had eased up. We slowly started to go back to work, and out on beach trips. Once, we stole watermelons from a field we happened to pass by. We tried aerial beach yoga for the first time. Summer was here. 

More beach club happy hour by ourselves. We we're still not working 100%, so we spent with caution. We still treated ourselves some summer cocktails, and pizza every now and then. Still didn't really meet much friends at all, but we had each other & and kittens, and we realised that we didn't really need much else. 

Started to find stability and confidence in my yoga balances. Went on boat trips. Worked. Drew. August was a very inspirational month, where my creativity was at its peak. And so was the summer heat. 

I was at my peak of physical shape. I had expanded my workout routine to 4-5 days a week, and was building muscle, flexibility and stability fast. Throughout the whole summer, I felt how the body became stronger, and by September, I could really feel the fruit of my persistence. My confidence started to grow. I felt amazing. I felt strong. 

The stone was set in motion in the midst of this month. 

I was looking for some extra hours to fill in my slightly too relaxed work schedule, and somehow stumbled in as Catering manager in an office. I had no idea that the intention was to find a manager, as I probably wouldn't have applied for the position if I knew, but they seemed to have trust in that giving me the position. I could always quit if it turned out to not be my cup of tea, and there was many lessons to learn from a leading position. I decided to give it a go. I worked 60h/ week for two months straight, morning to evening, in the transition time between N bistrot and the sudden manager job. 

I slowly stopped drinking - it all just happened so naturally. I just didn't feel the magic anymore. Which I'm so happy for. I've sure had my good times drinking with friends in the sun, but it was time for healing now. Besides, I was working too much and I simply had no time to neither drink or be hungover at. I suddenly had to step up and be a manager. Planning rosters. Doing orders. Planning food menu's. I needed my head sharp, so I slowly reduced my hours at the restaurant to keep up besides stopping to drink. My mental health declined, stress levels rised. I stopped doing yoga. I kept telling myself that it's just a transition time until I've learnt everything. Then it'll go smoother. 

December came, and so did the peak stress. I was close to a mental breakdown. It wasn't the tasks at hand that stressed me out - it was not being sure if I could deliver what was expected. It was also about being part of the modern world, that I've proudly taking a stance from. Consumerism. Being presentable. Reputation. I didn't feel like myself anymore. I wasn't happy, but I also realised that the stress of festive season could be the culprit in making matters worse. I decided to keep on trying, and somehow soldiered December through, in hopes of January and February being calmer. 

During this month, I only ventured in between work and bed. No energy or motivation for any activities, or meeting friends.

And here we are now - finally having a week of mandatory holiday leave, and having some time to get back to yoga and to recover mentally. The past 3 months has been hard on me. I've turned from a positive spirit guide, to a total Grinch. But it's okay too. It'll all be worth it in the end, and next year, big big plans are slowly making their debut. This is just another one of life's waves. And I, shall surf this one out too.

🌟 Wishing you all a good 2021 🌟