April 4th
Ah... April is here. Springtimes.
The weather has been a bit cloudy lately, but it's okay. I'm enjoying every second of the cold seasons, knowing that appreciation will make the warm ones even better. So many people in hurry for summer, forgetting to breathe in the seasons in between.
Malta's got loads of summer to come anyway. I'm not in a hurry.
And life? How do I feel?
Life feels unexpectedly... good. For now. Sure, I still have the daily anxiety to deal with, but then; who doesn't? The level of anxieties may vary, but I understand that the reasons may not be really that usual in my case though. I've broken it down
to 2 main worries for now:
1) I can't sleep because I can't stop fantasizing about the roof crumbling down on me. Literally.
2) I'm sickly worried for my future, and the fact that I'll never know how things turns out. The uncertainty of the unknown, with an exceptionally cynical mind you may call it.
However bad my anxieties may be from day to day, I'm still reminded daily of the small beauties in life. The sun saying hi in between the clouds. The sea glittering in my eyes. My lovely new flat where I've finally found a home. Random bumps of happiness
coming my way. They keep me smiling, and my heart from turning to stone.
So, life is good now. I’ve got a beautiful home. I eat a lot of good food every day. I spend a lot of time outdoors, chatting with friends or drinking coffee in the sun. I just filled my flat with green plants. My anxieties can go fuck themselves.
