Oishii

Had a nice drive to the wineyards yesterday, and stopped over at Oishii for a fishy lunch. The tuna tataki was a disappointment, but I stuffed my face with spicy miso soup and sashimi instead. It's hard to fail sashimi. All good.






Heavyweight

Am I consuming the darkness, or is the darkness consuming me?




Fancy lunch

Seafood platter with ponzu oysters, pickled baby octopus and wasabi calamari rings, followed by crispy skin ocean trout with scallop, mussle and prawn tomato ragu. It costs to eat good...






life

Breathing is heavy nowadays



Rainy days

Spent the half day off doodling around with my fineliner. Long time no see darlings 







Limbo

Stopped wearing eyeliner 2 months ago
Another thing to care less about.




6 months later


I can't get away.

I traveled to the other side of the world to escape my memories
To forget the heartache
It doesn't work.

Life here in Australia isn't too bad. A bit boring maybe, but with 11h of work every day I'm fine. I am not good, nor bad. Just when I'm left alone with my head and heart.

One thing I can't get away from is the dark cloud of suicide thoughts slowly rolling over me, heavier and heavier. Not that I'm about to go kill myself or so, but just... Thoughts. I can't chase them away. They're always there whenever I have free time, circling around and in my head, telling me how nice it would be to be free from all the suffering in this world. Sure we'd miss out on nice stuff aswell, but this slowly encasing depression has viciously started to drain me of my then-so-strong joy. I used to be the power up person, the girl always spreading positive energies around. And now, I'm just this gloomy weirdo. I couldn't even fully enjoy Asia when I traveled there a month.

Don't get me wrong, I do have a nice time whenever I meet great people. But every single second I'm alone I'm lost in heartache again. My insides are aching constantly, and flaming up in every lone moment. When I wake up. When I go to sleep. I'm not thrown into despair as I was before, but this kind of depression is viciously draining me of joy, slowly slowly... Maybe one day these thoughts of dying will be real. Without me even realizing how far it's gone. I'm not saying it'll happen for sure. But it can't continue in this direction. Suicide thoughts are not a long-term part of breakups.

Froggylicious

Alright. Let's talk about the frog and the stingray I ate last week in Malaysia. I've been too busy with work, so this update is a bit late I know..

Anyway. Got my eyes on a skewer-stand in KL, bukit bintang area. They had big-ass frogs and stingrays and of course I was interested. You pretty much pick whatever skewered you feel like and they grill/deep fry them for you.

I ate frog twice in Malaysia, and I have to say that the meat doesn't really taste.... Anything. It's just texture. It's a little bit gummy-ish, and maybe not the star in Malay cuisine really. It was fun to try though!

The stingray was actually very nice. I had it first grilled, then slightly deep fried. Imagine a big fish, for example swordfish... That's the texture. Not flakey and white like most fishes, but you could feel that it was a sea creature. If they cut it like any other fish you could easily put it in a bouillabaisse. The skin and bones was a little bit of a hassle, but I could eat this again for sure (later had a stingray ginger-stir fry, gorgeous).







Also had a little quail. Not bad, but chicken is way better



Midnight snack

Sorry for being low on updates again guys. Just came to my final destination and started doing 12 shifts straight away. Still in the process of learning, but my gut feeling isn't too happy for some reason. We'll see how it turns out.

 Monday's off though, so hopefully I'll come up with something tomorrow!





Real food abroad

There's lots of good foods to eat here in KL. You have a wonderful mix between Malay, Chinese, Indian, and all sorts of street food (most of them deep fried). I usually try to stick with the local food whenever I travel to a country, but since it's so mixed here.. I love the Indian and Chinese as much as I like the Malay food. It's still authentic thanks to the closeness and race mix. 'Western Chinese food' is for example not anywhere close to the real stuff. Usually brown, very sweet and sticky-saucy. And that's what people grow up to believe is 'real Chinese food'. Of course there are similar dishes maybe, but this is just something else than the many many many dishes of a huge country. 

Ehrm. Too much China. My point is that even if I eat Indian and Chinese here in KL, it's still kind of the real deal. The fact that I'm residing in Chinatown helps a lot. Today we'll visit the town's 'little India' and sample foods to eat with our hands. Just need to hunt down a good, spicy hellbroth laksa first to sweat the demons inside out. Did I mention my habit of always eating spicy noodle soups for breakfast?





Malay curry and pork belly (both soy-stewed and deep fried)


Saturday night market

Stumbled into a very long evening market last night. Wonderfully crowded with people and aromas from the different street food stalls. I managed to sample a lot of things I hadn't tried yet (as the cow' lung and liver... Tough shit). Can't really remember everything, but here's some pictures;


Started the day with a spicy laksa (noodles in a rich curry broth, topped with clams, deep fried tofu and chicken). It's nice to sweat the demons out.




Shared lunch with a new friend, consisting of takoyaki, curry puff pastry, nasi lemak, mee rebus noodle soup and nasi goreng. A nice mix between Singaporean and Malay foods (well, takoyaki is japanese but whatever).





Biggest pans ever filled with delicious fried noodles!!!!!! Just €1,3 for a nice portion. Heaven






Weird ice cream cone and deep fried prawns on a skewer. They seem to love their deep fried foods over here (one thing I've also noticed is that Malay women seem to have a quite average body type, not really as small and petite as for example Japanese people). Nothing wrong with that!



Arriba arriba!

Went to try out Mañana, a Mexican restaurant at white beach in Boracay. Maybe I had high expectations after reading good things about it online, but I was kind of disappointed. It was tasty, but most things was in need of a real dab of salt. Other than that, it was alright. Decorations was creative, but the sides (beans, corn, rice etc) was mini-sized. Well, main courses was pretty big so it makes sense I guess.

I had vegetarian enchiladas, the others chimichangas, burritos and enchiladas. Also a pizza baked on a piece of tortilla. All washed down with huge mango margheritas and banana shakes!

Also found myself a new sarong. The old one is starting to get ripped me overall over-used. Will use it as long as I can though, mixing it up with the new, blue one :)







Bulalo

Read about Smoke risto's award-winning Bulalo soup while researching about filipino cuisine, so there I went to try it out. 

For you who doesn't know, bulalo is a beef shank soup with the broth made from boiling the meat on the bones. Usually contains chinese cabbage aswell if I understood it right.

So I went to this very small local restaurant located on the outskirts of the tourist bubble. Ordered one with rice on the side;


It came piping hot, so I removed the meat and cabbage and put it nicely over the rice. Also got a bit of chili oil on the side which I obviously dumped right down in the soup.



Ate the meat and other beautiful beef tissue while the soup took its time to cool down. Tried to spoon up some soup in between each bite to fuse the different elements together. Jelly-like beef tissue/fat, soft, ultra slow cooked beef so tender you're ready to die. Broth just as salty as it should be, and also the extra sting of the chili oil. Oh my god... Extremely divine.

At the later part of the meal when the temperatures went to a good level, I just put everything on the plate and dumped it into the soup bowl (correction; what was left). All the flavors and textures came together to be ridiculously good. 



I also got a little friend laying under the table, probably smelling the glorious 
aroma better than I do. At that moment, there was nowhere I'd rather be.

Ache. Sorry guys

I should update about my travels, but at the moment it's all about emotions again. Please look away if you want to hear about my adventures, here's nothing to find. Wait for next update.

Back to heartache. I've been trying to sleep for a couple of hours, turning and twisting, but the only thing I can see when I close my eyes is.... Jakob. And it hurts.

When I close my eyes, I find myself fantasizing about his life now. What's he's doing. How he's feeling. I wonder about everything. It's stupid. I traveled to the other side of the world to get away, yet I can't sleep because I see his face whenever I close my eyes. Hope he's doing alright. I know he is. I just wish I could aswell.

I'm having a good time here, I'm enjoying friends and nice scenery. But a part of me is missing. And I can't think it away. I should stop bitch about a lost love. It's part of life for fucks sake.

It's 04.10, and I'm sitting at the rooftop of the hostel, chain smoking. 
Missing, and trying to get myself together to fucking sleep. Knowing how ridiculous this is, I'm on the other side of the world goddamnit, and he doesn't give a shit about you, neither should I! Fuck

I miss him. I miss you so much. 
End of story 







New start starts with Roma

At the moment, I'm sitting in Beijing airport. Facebook is banned here in China, and the security check was one of the harshest I've been through (full body search, they took my three lighters and basically unpacked my whole bag).

I've just spent about 9-10h in the air between Roma and Beijing. Before that just 1,5h leaving malta to Roma. Very tearful flight I must say, I got sickly emotional and must have looked like a idiot there beside people (luckily I was at the window, so I could cry while watching the sky and Malta from above).

Met a couchsurfer in Roma. Oh he gave me such a good time. We firstly had a beer at the airport, then took the car in to central Roma, parked a bit outside and just had a long promenade past colosseum and other big constructions I don't know the name of. Then I ate the first Italian pizza in Italy!!! CappricciosaAlso tasted some bruschetta and carbonara. It is a certain difference, it is. And I hadn't eaten in about 15h, so it was surely good.

On the way back to the airport we got stuck in a traffic jam, and I almost missed the flight (eheheheheh surprised?). Like, really on the limit. It would suck if I got stuck so early on a long trip, but here I am in Beijing. Phew

Chinese people are weird. And rude. Or just very straight-forward. I was thinking to spend my 7h here, sitting at the bar and maybe catch a conversation with someone, but it doesn't seem like that's doable really. It's not even so much foreigners here goddamnit. And the Chinese people around isn't very friendly, loud, angry, and the cashier looks at you with a face of bother. Maybe this is just a very boring airport to work in. I hope that's the case at least.

The restaurants serve mostly Korean food as bibimbap and different noodle soups, so I'm happy. Korean food is awesome, and I would like to try more of it! Just sucks that my appetite isn't existing at all. Feels so stupid to buy food for €8 if you're not even hungry. So here I am in the smoking room with my three Tsingtao beer I bought from the convienience shop. I should get hungry at some point. My beer is finished soon anyway, I can't use Facebook and I have 4.5h left to wait (y)










I must say though, the dinner I got at air China was the best tasting I've ever had on a plane. Chicken in white sauce and pasta with tomato sauce, prawn, crispy potato and olive oil on the side. Tastyy

<center>Calory Creations</center>

Tany

Tanu here. Thai by blood, born/raised in Sweden, and is for the moment located in Malta. This blog is focused on my drawings, traveling and foods which I'd like to share with like-minded, or just the curious. Welcome!
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