My curse

I wonder why my stomach hurts so much. 

Is it all of the alcohol I've been marinating myself with the last 7 years? Is it the stress of knowing that I can't disappear without hurting the people who cares? Being forced to stay alive and suffer each day? Could it be the notion of slowly fading away from my lovers sight? The emotional starvation of sleeping next to someone you can't touch? The pain in my chest that makes my whole soul shudder down to it's bare knees and burst through my cheeks and my eyes?

Having feelings may be a gift, but I'm starting to doubt whether the good ones really outweights the heavy ones. Having too much feelings towards any direction whatsoever, is my curse.


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