calory

01:28
Saturday 30th July, 2016

Oh well.
Here I am, again.
Haven't smoked a single drag of tobacco since Thursday 7am.
Not even a beer, or any alcohol either.
I'm completely straight in most ways at the moment, and it's funny to think, that from the wildest and most drug-filled parties, this stillness can be born.

I guess it's just about my totally emptied dopamine levels, no?

I had something else to write, but I still struggle to put the words in order in my head.
Something about being.... Nothing special.
Not a person who struggle with living. But not anyone achieving anything special either.
I just... Am.
Is this a problem?
No, I don't think so.
Yet, it's bugging me a bit, from time to time.
I do want to become truly great at something, and I do know that I do have potential if I just work hard towards it.

But you see.

Life is so fun and comfortable right now. It's so much nicer to let the sun bathe my skin and have endless conversations with people. It's so easy to get out from my house and get nothing but socialising done. Don't get me wrong. I do enjoy my life.

But whatever talents I have is forgotten.
If I even have any real ones of course.
But that, I will never know.
Until I learn how to stay with my own company.